Saturday, January 8, 2011

Feeling selfish. Burned out.

The last few days I have done nothing outside of cleaning, cooking, and sitting in: the orthodontist office, the ER (3 hours), Urgent Care (2 hours), and feeding the baby.

My husband has seemed to do nothing outside of video games and talking to my brother on the phone about said video games. He did run to the pharmacy for me, only after trying to get out of it and me putting my foot down. And he loaded the dishwasher partially tonight, I finished that, scrubbed the kitchen, swept, and finished the laundry.

Normally, I don't mind Nate playing. He deserves a break and some time to let his brain fry as most of his time is spent at school scrambling it. Today however, it bugged me. A LOT. At one point I took the phone away from his hear and hung up on my brother. I had had it. I had asked him to keep my phone by him in case the doctor's office called me back, I really had to use the bathroom and didn't want to miss the call. Well, after finishing my business, I came out to both babies screaming and Nate on HIS phone talking about the video game he had just been playing. (This is when I took it away and hung up.) He didn't know where my phone was.

I'm not normally so witchy, really, I'm not. But I felt more like slapping him and yelling, "HELLO!? Over stressed, under slept wife needing help! Are you blind?!" So hanging up on Sven seemed less harsh.

Raedin wanted to watch a movie with me tonight, Nate knew that. He went and turned on his game to "just play a real quick game" while I finished cleaning up. I was floored. More of this dumb game????? I went up stairs to voice my opinion on the matter, heard him whisper something to Raedin in Spanish, and the next thing I knew Raedin was telling me to "shut my mouth".

Line. Crossed.

He told my son to tell me to shut my mouth. I said,"Fine, no movie. You don't talk to mommy like that." Raedin of course cried, Nate said that wasn't fair since he told Raedin to say it (thinking it would be funny). Raedin then said something very bossy and demanding to me and Nate told him not to talk to me like that! Contradiction?

Raedin apologized to me. Nate turned on the movie anyway, but didn't apologize.



Normally I wouldn't publicly post about a spat like this, but my patience does have a limit and it is being pushed to it lately. But now I feel like I'm being selfish. Where is the "me time"? Not a second to myself really, except right now for a quick blog rant and that is about to end as I can hear the baby waking up.

I'm tired. I'm upset. I'm angry. I'm trying so hard not to be.


  1. Wow. I would have slapped him. I was kind of disappointed that you didn't!

    Honestly, you have SOOO much going on, ESPECIALLY with sick little people and a new baby. I wouldn't have been mad. I would have been LIVID and would have eaten my husband after flaying and drawing and quartering him.

    That being said, good for you for preserving your dignity, and I sincerely hope that things get a little less crazy for you. Don't be so hard on yourself! You can't do everything, and you shouldn't. Heavenly Father designed marriage to be two people working together, not one person dragging the other person behind them through eternity. I am sure there is a gentle way of conveying that to the other spouse, and once you figure that out, let me know how. :D

  2. Don't worry, Chris. I've gotten into "spats" with Brett for a lot less. Just know that I completely admire your ability to multitask and take care of your family. Thinking of you!